My daughter loved the movie "Lilo and Stitch," long before Hawaii was a dream of ours. There's a well known line in there about ohana. I'm sure most everyone has heard it before, but just to remind you:
Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.
I work in a skilled rehabilitation center. About half of the people staying there are just admitted for short term rehabilitation. The other half live there. I've worked in many places like this in the Chicago area. I've worked at places in the lower economic areas of the city and suburbs; I've worked at facilities where the residents have more money than they'll be able to spend. I've met countless families who care for their loved ones. I've also met so many people who never have visitors, where the workers become a surrogate family. I've watched CNAs create special bonds with the residents and give them that little extra attention or TLC.
Unfortunately, I've also seen some horrible things in Illinois. I've had to report abuse/neglect of residents by families and by workers. I've watched these aging faces stare back at me as they sat, bored and all but ignored, at the nurse's station because they were unsafe to be alone in their rooms, but also not provided with stimulation and activities to keep them active and engaged.
Here, though, I've seen a much different side to people. I see families present every single day, visiting both residents and the short term patients who are receiving therapy. Often times, it becomes a mixture of families with everyone outside talking story. They sit, relax, and enjoy their time together. Family is welcome to sleep there, if it helps a confused patient feel more comfortable when a familiar person is there. Past patients come back to visit often, to see not only the workers, but other residents with whom they shared a bond.
Working here allows me to feel what I have always felt Hawaii would be. I honestly enjoy everyone I work with. It's because of the love that Hawaii brings out in people. Staff smile when they pass, they say hello, and they try to learn who you are. During my work orientation, the educator was teaching us how the facility prepares for disasters. He told us there was enough food to last for 3 days, for not just the residents and workers, but also for the families of the residents AND the families of the workers! Many of my coworkers live below the tsunami evacuation line and in the event of evacuation, they and their families are welcome to come to our work instead of going to a shelter. There's a true sense of caring for the person, not just an employee.
This does not mean that it is perfect where I work, nor that everyone gets along all the time. But there is definitely more a sense of this here in Hawaii than anything I've experienced in the past.
From my work and the people that we have met, we have learned that it's not just blood that makes ohana. There's a word here called "hanai." This means "like family," or "adopted family member," in a non-formal sense. Hanai relatives here may be neighbors or a best friend's aunt. They are there to help out and talk story every time you see them. The sense that everyone here is family is also present in how we address elders. It's a term of endearment and respect to call your elders aunty, uncle, or even grandma. If invited, you may also call the eldest female their Hawaiian word of endearment that signifies matriarch.
When I lived in Illinois there were many times I felt alone. I didn't have close friends, my family was distant from each other either by miles or connection or both. Here you make real connections with the most random of people. It's not considered odd, rude, or downright weird to have a conversation with someone you've never met before, who happens to pass you by in the aisle at Target. One of my favorite things to do is go to the KTA near my work and talk with the young lady who is at the bakery. She always has something interesting to say; she's funny. I also enjoy sitting in a restaurant and striking up a conversation with the people at the table next to us. My mom makes fun of me because my whole life, I have been embarrassed if workers recognized me when I entered their businesses (like restaurants). I'd just stop going! Here, though, I enjoy those connections because they're sincere.
No comments:
Post a Comment